Waiting on God

Today is a wonderful guest post from Aloted on waiting on God. Aloted is a good friend of mine both online and off and I love her pointers below. One of my favourite songs reflects upon the verse she quotes at the end, so I have included it too.

Hope you enjoy the post.

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Some time ago, I was in the midst of a group of ladies and the conversation steered towards waiting and how hard it is to wait for anything.

Someone now asked the question- “which is easier- to wait on God for a husband or a baby?” A single lady in the group quickly shouted “Oh it is definitely harder to wait for a husband than a baby; at least a married woman has one out of the two- a husband, while singles have neither”. One married woman shook her head and said “hmm I think it is harder waiting for a baby, at least there are plenty single men around and you can easily pick one to marry, but when you don’t have a baby everyone especially your in-laws start staring at you wondering why you don’t have a child”. Another single person chipped in- “well you can adopt a baby not a husband or do IVF”. The argument kept going back at forth with everyone trying to defend their corner as they deemed fit. I sat there listening, not contributing, considering I have a husband and a daughter and didn’t think my opinion mattered anyway.

Later on, I went over the full conversation in my head and I realised the ladies who were waiting for either a life partner or a baby defended their argument based on their need. It was very hard for the single girl to see why a married woman should be lamenting “at least she has someone to warm her bed at night”. The married women felt single girls can be choosy that’s why they are still single.

It then occurred to me that no matter what you are waiting for, it could be very hard especially when there is no end in sight. I don’t think another need is superior that the other but I do know it can be a challenge waiting for that need to materialize. It could be as “simple” as waiting in line in a queue, waiting for the bus, waiting for that job, waiting for that breakthrough, waiting for Mr Right or a baby as in the cases above. Whatever the circumstance, it is worth knowing what to do while you are waiting.

Some tips on waiting on God:

1. Focus on God’s promises for you. He says to you- he is working everything out for your good (Romans 8:28), he has a great plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11), though it tarries, it will surely come! (Habakkuk 2:3), cast all your cares on him (1 Peter 5:7)

2. Joyce Meyers said “Enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going.” She also said “Patience is not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” Waiting isn’t easy but you can choose to have a positive attitude while waiting. Since you already believe God at his word (e.g. 1 above) you might as well wait joyfully and expectantly because in the end it will come to you.

3. Be a source of blessing to others around you. I can assure you, you are not the only one waiting for something. Look around you. You can be the answer to someone else’s prayer. By helping others around you, your problems don’t seem so big anymore and you actually feel better.

4. Live in the present- worrying about the future robs you of the present. Worrying would not change your situation so enjoy your life and appreciate God’s goodness in your life. Count your blessings, name them one by one. Focus on what you have and not on what you don’t have.

5. Develop yourself while waiting. Read books, meet people, develop your talent so that you are ready when that job comes, when that husband comes, when that baby comes, what that breakthrough comes.

6. Sometimes God says no to that need. As hard as that may be, trust in Him- in the master plan he has for your life, and keep living.

I pray God meets you at the point of your need, and that your waiting will not be in vain. I end with this scripture in the Bible.

But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

Thank you Aloted!

You can read more of her musings over at Purposed Driven Blog and From the Heart of Soul Sistas

Image {via}

Miss Siobi

Many have asked what does Siobi mean?

Siobi : pronounced See-oh-bee

It is short for Chidintukwasiobi  which is ‘God is Faithful’ in Igbo.

When choosing her name we decided to work backwards.  We knew what we wanted her name to mean and between an Igbo bible and Google, her name was formed. 

God’s faithfulness is a theme tune that runs through our family. We see it day in day out and continue to be in awe of what God does for us.

Now obviously Chidintukwasiobi is a lot for a child to spell so she’ll be known as Siobi.

Motherhood is treating me well. Physically I am feeling a lot better than I did in the first week and it’s amazing how quickly you learn to know your child. I can change a nappy super fast and have learnt to do many everyday tasks one handed! Emotionally every time I look at her I can’t quite believe she is the same baby I carried for nine months. She has her own little personality and really only ever cries when she is tired or hungry. The love I have for her is so deep and I want to do everything in my power to protect and nurture her.

Labour seems like a distant memory and life has become a whirlwind of hugs, kisses, feeds and nappy changes.

Motherhood – I heart it.

Birth story coming soon…

Then Comes Baby

So it’s been a week since Siobi entered our lives and what a week it has been. Thank you for all your  comments and emails of love and congrats. We were really touched.

As each day passes we are becoming more confident and comfortable in our abilities to take care of her. She has been feeding well and growing well (she put weight on at her recent midwife visit) and is such a peaceful little girl.

Having a third person around has been invaluable. I really don’t know how we would have coped this past week without my MIL being around. She has been a real blessing. My first meal home from hospital was pepper soup…yummy!

This past weekend we had family visiting and it was so amazing to see how much joy one little baby can bring. My siblings are all thrilled to be uncles and aunties for the first time and for my parents this is their first grandchild, so it is a huge milestone for them. Nevertheless even as grandchild number 4, Afam’s parents are over the moon too.

Labour was intense and completely different to how I planned or imagined, but the outcome was still the same and we were blessed with a beautiful daughter. I am slowly getting into a routine and hope to post about my labour experience and life as a momma very soon. In the meantime you will see a couple of guest posts thrown in here and there to keep the blog ticking over. And for those of you awaiting pictures… here is something to tide you over (Yes I am such a tease)!

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Today I have my lovely friend Modupe from Hepzibah Bride writing about having children and timing.

At our traditional engagement and wedding ceremony, our non-Nigerian friends were highly amused at the prayers and blessings pronounced over us that went something like 'Oh Lord, this time next year, bless them with the fruit of the womb!' Cue a resounding "AMEN!" Talk about pressure! And I am certain that there were auntie's that were sneaking looks at my middle in the months following to see if any growth was apparent.

Contrast that with the prayer of the vicar at a friends wedding - "Lord if they wish to have children..." Cue the the once closed eyes tight in fervent agreement flying open with shock and a stifled "ah ah, wetin' be the problem of this father, of course they want to have children now! God forbid bad thing that they won't have children!" Actually, my friends were in their forties and so the vicar's prayer put very little pressure on them.

So, to wait or not to wait - that is the question. For some, the choice is not actually theirs, because for some reason best known to Him, the Lord may decide to withhold the gift of a child for some time. But otherwise the decision on whether or not a couple have a honeymoon baby can depend on factors such as:

Adjusting period - getting married is a big deal and there's a lot of teething that goes on in the first year of marriage. You might decide that it's best to settle down as a married couple first before bringing children into the mix.

Age - if you're a relatively young couple, you may want to wait a while before starting a family so that you can do things like travelling together before kids come along, and then be older and wiser for the parenting season of your lives. On the other hand, you might think that it's best to have children early so that you can be energetic enough to take care of them, be young enough to be able to relate to them better when they reach adolescence, and then still be young(ish) when the children have flown the nest.

If you're an older couple, you might think that time is against them and so may want to have children straight away.

Views on contraception - if you'd rather not use contraception until you've had your first child, or you don't believe contraception is right for you at all, then all things being equal, a baby will follow very shortly after your marriage. A lot of girls that I know, come out with grand plans of waiting for a certain number of years, without thinking practically about how they are going to achieve that. I mean, if you're not keen on hormonal contraception and using barrier contraception on your honeymoon doesn't tickle your fancy, if your wedding takes place during your peak conception period, sorry love, your mama's going to be a grandma sooner than you think! (a few young girls are bumped back down to reality when I break it down to them like that!)

Circumstance - in an ideal world, when you get married, you should be financially sound, but things happen, and perhaps financially having a baby straight after marriage isn't a good a idea. The same applies if you still need to settle down accommodation/location wise as a couple. Of course adverse conditions don't mean you should put having a family on hold - the Lord is faithful and will work things out - look at Mary and Joseph...

Children are a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5), but no one should feel under pressure about having children. As long as you PRAY and AGREE as a couple and ultimately hand your desires and plans over to the capable hands of God (Proverbs 3:5-7; Psalm 37:4), whenever you have children is perfect. There's no right or wrong.

I know you must be itching to find out...we had a honeymoon baby, which we were totally prepared for :-)

I am a mummy!

With joy in our hearts and immense thanks to God we are pleased to welcome into the world our beautiful daughter Siobi.

Born yesterday at 9:07pm, she weighed 7lb 5oz.

Thank you for your prayers, love and support.

It is totally amazing and overwhelming at the same time. Details and pics to follow.

All three of us are doing good.

Total thanks to God!

The Middle Wife

This was sent to me today and I thought it would be fun to share.

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First,  Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my  Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop!  My  Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimicking water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.

They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ' Middle Wife' comes along.

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Here is my latest pregnancy vlog (hopefully the last one before baby comes!)

Happy Friday Everyone!