Friday, 20 April 2012

Friday Finds: Helping single friends, Facebook loneliness + building trust

friday finds

This week has been one of those weeks.

I’ve been extremely busy hence the lack of posts, however I do have some great finds that I came across this week.

1. Since getting married I have seen my friendships with my single friends change. Some have evolved positively whilst others have fizzled out. Often I wonder if there is anything more I can be doing for my single friends that will support and encourage them rather than patronise. How can married women help single women is a really interesting article, written by a single women which gives some very useful and practical tips on how to do this.

2. Trust is something which takes time to build but can be destroyed in an instant. Read here How to Build (or rebuild) trust.

3. Do you think the likes of Facebook and Twitter remove the need for people to converse less in person? Face to Face over at Boundless talks about how the increase in technology can contribute to loneliness. A recent study concluded that “The greater the proportion of face-to-face interactions, the less lonely you are,” and  “The greater the proportion of online interactions, the lonelier you are.” What do you think?

Finally, if you like ebooks and also like a bargain the annual simplify your family life sale is back.

syfl-468

You can purchase 35+ ebooks worth $375 for only $29 across the following topics:

Entrepreneurship and Blogging

Food and Cooking

Homemaking

Marriage and Relationships

Minimalism for families

Parenting and Kids

I have some of the books already {Tell Your Time by Amy @ Blogging with Amy, One Bite at a Time by Tsh @ Simple Mom and A Simple Marriage by Corey @ Simple Marriage } and have found them really good. The sale ends today so check it out if you’re interested. Thanks Aloted for letting me know!

Hope you enjoy these finds – have a wonderful weekend!

Friday, 13 April 2012

Friday Finds: Priorities, discipline + habits

friday finds

This week I have three Friday Finds for you:

1. First up are two blog posts which challenged me about priorities as a mother:

Inconsistent by Joy over at Graceful Mama

It's Okay to Quit by Sarah Mae over at Stretching Into Blue

2. Second find is the new series started by Courtney over at Women Living Well on 5 weeks - 5 disciplines - 5 challenges. Over the next five weeks she will be covering the following areas: mind, body, spirit, work and time and hopes to encourage you to become more disciplined in these areas.  Discipline is the substance which distinguishes successful people from the norm and is something that the Lord has been challenging me on recently, so this series has come at a great time.

3. Finally Michael Hyatt wrote a post about How to break bad habits which speaks for itself. It is a good read with practical tips and links to other resources.

Enjoy and have a great weekend!

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Hairspiration + Going Natural

 

So last month I went in for the Big Chop (BC), were I got my hairdresser to cut off all of my relaxed bits and leave me with my natural hair. I had taken out my kinky twists and realised that I had more natural hair than relaxed and that this would be a good a time as any to restart the natural hair journey again.

This isn’t the first time I have done the BC. I did it once before when I was at university but ended up going back to relaxer, {see point 1 below} as I found it too difficult to manage. This time round, I am determined to learn how to take care of my natural hair. I also want to be confident in this, so that I can educate my daughter on how to look after her natural hair too.

So far I am enjoying my new hair journey, although it does require a bit more thought and time in the daily maintenance. However I am sure as time goes by I will get a lot quicker and comfortable with my routine.

 

If you’re thinking of going natural here are some tips:

1. Educate yourself and do your research. There is so much information available now that there are no excuses for not knowing what to do. The reason I ended up going back to the cremey crack after my last BC was that I didn’t know how to take care of my natural hair. There was little information around about how to take care of it, even visiting my local hairdresser, she didn’t know what to do either. In the end I went back to relaxed hair as it was ‘easier’.

2. Prepare yourself mentally. Natural hair is nothing like relaxed hair. My hair has a lot of shrinkage and is quite curly. It is not sleek like when I had relaxed hair and I look different with my natural hair (it accentuates my facial features more}. I prepared myself for this and try to make sure that I still look put together.

3. If you can’t bear to part with your long hair, transitioning is good. If you are used to having long hair and go in for the BC which results in very short hair, it can be quite a change emotionally so prepare yourself and transition slowly.

3. Don’t buy loads of new products as you may already have a lot of good stuff in your house. For example extra virgin olive oil, which I use on both my hair and my daughter’s hair, is readily available from our kitchen, as is honey which I use for pre-poos and the most important ingredient in maintaining hair moisture, our very own H2O, is available on tap (excuse the pun) for ‘free’.

This time round I am also trying to use as much natural products as possible and so am using lots of oils and shea butter {courtesy of one of my dear Ghanaian friends}. I still have regular moisturisers and butters but prefer my natural ingredients.

4. Don’t buy loads of expensive products either. Try and get a sample first to see if it works for you. What works for one might not work for you and you don’t want to waste your money. Right now I am loving Tresemme Naturals Moisture Conditioner. It’s like £4, is free from all the nasty stuff and my hair drinks it up.

5. Finally don’t compare your hair to others. Learn to love your hair and learn how to take care of it.

 

Useful Info:

natural hair rules

Hair sites:

 

You Tubers – my favs

 michelle obama natural

{image source}

Friday, 6 April 2012

The Finale: Birth Story Part Three

Click to read Part One and Part Two.

I prelude this section, by saying the following.

One of good friends told me that in labour two things will happen; it will hurt A LOT and you will think you’re going to die but you’re not. That kind of helped me to prep my mind, a little.

And secondly… I love this quote by Stephanie from A Blue Eyed Boy meets a Brown Eyed Girl where she says…

NEXT TIME I WILL KNOW THAT LABOR HURTS MUCH WORSE THAN I HAD EVER EXPECTED IT TO… and if next time it is as manageable as it was feeling at home, we are NOT very far along yet! =)

This was so true.

*******

Part Two ended with me having contractions throughout the rest of the night, which then stopped at around 4:30am. I was finally able to sleep for like 2 hours or so, before having to get up to go to hospital for our scheduled induction.

When I woke up I was in high spirits. I knew that no matter what happened today, I wouldn’t be sent home and by God’s grace, we would meet our baby girl.

Having been to the hospital on many occasions over the last 72 hours, I was able to repack my hospital and labour bags to contain only the things that were necessary {I still ended up having things that I didn’t use e.g. I packed my kindle, I definitely wasn’t in the reading mood during labour lol}.

We checked in {sounds like I was at a hotel!} around 9:30am and met our midwife, who explained what would happen. Essentially they wanted to monitor me, before deciding the next course of action, to get the labour moving. I would then have the option of a gel or drip. {The Prostaglandin gel ‘rippens' the cervix but I would then need to walk around the ward for another 6 hours. I didn’t want this option. The drip, Syntocinon encourages the body to have contractions, which will encourage the cervix to dilate.} 

My contractions at this point were very irregular and I was still only 2cm dilated. Fortunately the Consultant made the decision to start me straight on the drip.

Here are the timeline of events as I remembered them…

12:30pm – started on Syntocinon drip. Feeling okay and not ‘feeling’ anything. Every half an hour the dosage was increased.

2:30pm – dosage continues to be increased. Starting to feel contractions but nothing unbearable from a pain perspective, breathing through them, still able to have conversations,

3:00pm – dosage continues to be increased and now starting to feel ‘real’ pain. Advised to start on the gas and air, which made me laugh hysterically for the first 5 mins.

Now I can’t remember the timings of the rest but…

The pain is getting too much and they offer to do an examination to see how far I have gone.

The first midwife does an examination and I am told that I have reached 6cm. I am ecstatic and so happy to have made it this far on gas and air only. However a second midwife comes and checks me and confirms that unfortunately the first midwife got it wrong and I am actually only 3cm!!! What!

At this stage this second midwife suggests that I may wish to consider other forms of pain relief as this may be ‘a long one’. I want to punch the first midwife. The contractions are coming regularly and with an intensity that is making me cry. I can barely think through the pain.

I agree to an epidural.

[I had been so against an epidural, because I was so afraid of something going wrong with the whole needle in spine thing, however with my waters breaking and labour not progressing, my whole birth plan did a 180.]

Fortunately for me, the anaesthetist was available to come right away and my job was now to sit really still while he did the procedure, which was hard with the regular contractions.

Epidural done…relief. I take a little nap, I can even converse like a normal person.

About 45 mins later I’m starting to feel pain again. There is something not right with the dosage.

The anaesthetist comes back and increases the dosage. Baby’s heart rate falls. Panic mode. I’m getting prepped for a C-section. Consultant comes into the room and monitors the baby, then decides that all is okay. No c-section needed. Relief.

Pain is starting to increase. What is this? Why can I feel my legs. This epidural is not working.

Pain continues. Not good. They page the anaesthetist, they want him to re-site the epidural. He is no where to be found.

Contractions are increasing, full and fast. The pain is intense. I can remember crying a lot and asking where was the ‘epidural guy’. Epidurals usually work I’m told, but in my case it didn’t. My midwives felt really bad, especially as they had encouraged me to have it.

6pm – Checked and I am 4cm dilated. Only! I am feeling every contraction and the pain is getting worse. It is a body turning, intense, tightening pain, which was no longer every so many minutes, but rolled into one big fat pain.

This continues for the next 3 hours.

Time passes very quickly when your in the throws of labour, at least it did for me. The next thing I remember the midwife asking, ‘do you feel like you’re ready to push?’. How should I know!

She asks to examine me again, I can barely speak but just usher her to get on with it.

We have finally reached the magic number (10cm) and are fully dilated. It is time to push.

Pushing for me was weird. I was so tired but so close to the end and my husband and midwife were encouraging me to keep going. I just wanted it to be over. I was barely surviving on the gas and air.

“Push!” she told me, “you can do it”.

“We can see the head” he told me, “You’re doing so well”.

I just had to go into myself to do it and pushed with the little strength I had left.

At 9:45pm after 4 long pushes our beautiful daughter was born.

They laid her on my chest, hubby cut the cord and I soaked her all in.

I couldn’t quite believe it.

She was here at last. A real baby. I was now a mother.

Thank you God.

 

Siobi   Mummy

Next up: life with a newborn + post partum struggles.

Friday Finds: Life Blessons

friday finds

Friday Finds is a new weekly feature on the blog where I highlight a blog, article, video etc that I have come across during week which I want to share with you guys. These are not adverts or sponsors but merely things I have enjoyed and think you would like.

To kick off the first week, I would like to share with you a blog I stumbled across recently.

lifeblessons banner

Life Blessons is a blog by a lovely girl called Carmen who writes about her faith, life and marriage. I can’t really member how I found her site, but once I started reading I was hooked.

Her posts are really practical and relevant, often challenging me to think about aspects of my life. Carmen has also written a Better Blogging series as well as a Secrets of a Newlywed series, both of which I have really enjoyed and provide good advice.

If you’re looking for some new reading material online, hop over and check her out.

p.s. The third and final instalment of my birth story will be up later on today!

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