"" From Now Till 'I Do'...: June 2010

Sneak peak pictures...

23 Things the people are saying
Thanks to my lovely bridesmaid/cousin I have manage to swipe some pictures off facebook.

Voila!

Leaving the hotel...
 With my sisters...

And some of my bridesmaids...


 Outside the church {you can see the bolero I chose!}...


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Hello world! Mrs E speaking!!!

17 Things the people are saying

The wedding was ACE!!! The day was so awesome.

We had beautiful weather. Our vendors were top notch, our guests were fab and our minister was so understanding and helpful.

Our wedding coordinator, Alexandria was a-m-a-z-i-n-g! Such a trooper. She didn't sleep last night and she did such a fantastic job coordinating everything.

It is true the day does go so by quickly and we had such a great time. Daytime weddings are ace.

I await Facebook updates for pics!

Now off to hang with my new HUSBAND!

xoxo

Coming together

13 Things the people are saying
This morning I was reading in 1 Corinthians 12:7-18 about how the church is one body with many parts.

That would pretty much sum up this week.

Big tasks, small tasks. Help has sprung up from the unlikeliest places. Friends, acquaintances, family members have all come together to make tomorrow special. It really has been overwhelming to see how much people care and the sacrifices they have been making.

Last night I visited the reception venue and saw friends and family setting up tables, folding napkins, ironing table clothes and fitting chair covers. I was so touched. They could be doing a million other things but they have chosen to come, support and help us. I feel so blessed.

The sun is shining brightly and today is the last day. The final day, before I step into the next level of what God has planned for me.

I am excited.

Thank you Father for bringing us this far.

P.s. Thank you to all of you who have left lovely comments and sent beautiful emails. Those of you who are praying for us. Thank you. We appreciate you all.

Checking in...

7 Things the people are saying
Just checking in with you guys. Will be posting as and when I can this week with the help of my BB.

5 days to go and there is still lots to do. Life is a whirlwind of phone calls, emails, last minute errands, more phone calls, gym visits and dealing with unnecessary internal family drama.

Fortunately God is in control.

This last week is T-E-N-S-E! 

Remember to tell your significant other how much you love them, because it is all to easy to take out your frustrations on them.

Mr E...I love you and appreciate you!

Also trying to stay on top of calls, voicemails, texts and messages is taking some doing, think I need a PA lol!

It is all starting to come together and I am so grateful to the people around us who have been super supportive.

So looking forward to Saturday, can't believe it's only around the corner.


Please keep us in your prayers!

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Look what I saw today!

8 Things the people are saying

So cute right!

Marriage Prep: Ten Biblical Rules for a Happy Marriage

2 Things the people are saying
Happy Monday! This is a guest post from Mrs O!

Recently, Mr O and I have stepped up our prayer regime. We used to just open the Bible as and when we felt like it, sometimes it'd be daily, sometimes weekly. This wasn't good enough. Now, we're incorporating more active steps to strengthening our faith. One of these is using the internet for prayer resources and for interpretations of Bible verses that we sometimes find confusing.

We stumbled across this article on CBN and I thought it'd be perfect to share with you all...

Ten Biblical Rules for a Happy Marriage:

1. Never bring up mistakes of the past. Stop criticizing others or it will come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37).

2. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process?(Mark 8:36) * I really really believe in this one! *

3. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. And don't sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26).

4. At least once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse. Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Proverbs 15:4).

5. Never meet without an affectionate welcome. Kiss me again and again, your love is sweeter than wine (Song of Solomon 1:2).

6. "For richer or poorer" - rejoice in every moment that God has given you together. A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate (Proverbs 15:17). Actually in my NIV it says 'vegetables versus a fattened calf' - but the meaning is the same...

7. If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate. Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them (Proverbs 3:27).

8. If they're breathing, your mate will eventually offend you. Learn to forgive. I am warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him (Luke 17:3-4).

9. Don't use faith, the Bible, or God as a hammer. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it (John 3:17).

10. Let love be your guidepost. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged (1 Cor. 13:4-5).

 
My favourite is 1 Corinthians 13 - the whole chapter actually. It says so much and has been a great help in our relationship and in our new marriage.

Which Bible verses encourage you to work hard at having happy marriages?
Mrs O 

Sweet Mother #2

6 Things the people are saying

On Monday, Mrs O talked about dealing with your in-laws. It was a great post which talked about the challenges and issues one faces when interacting with your second family.

Mother in Laws…it’s a mixed bag. Some people have great relationships, others don’t. The transition on both sides is an interesting one, but as Mrs O said on Monday’s post - his/her mother, is now your mother too.

I found this great list on Engaged Marriage on 8 great things that come along with a MIL.

  1. Your spouse. I’m serious. She was 50% responsible for producing the love of your life.
  2. The inside scoop on all your spouse’s high school boyfriends and girlfriends – along with the affirmation that you are way better.
  3. The source of all your spouse’s favourite dishes and comfort foods. And she’ll teach you, too!
  4. Another point of view from someone who is older, wiser, and has already dealt with any hitches and roadblocks you are facing as a married couple.
  5. A perma-babysitter if and when you have kids.
  6. An excuse to get your partner to finally clean the kitchen floor: “But honey, your mother is coming!”
  7. Insight into why your spouse is the way he or she is. Face it: she’s known that person longer than you.
  8. Someone who is constantly concerned if you’ve had enough to eat, are warm enough, and if you had a good night’s sleep. It sounds overwhelming – but it’s actually really nice.

Any more you can think of?

I thank God for Mr E’s mum. She truly is a wonderful women who has welcomed me into the family with open arms and I look forward to developing our relationship as time goes on.

How is the relationship with your MIL? How have you nurtured it?

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Weekly Word: Who really owns it?

12 Things the people are saying

weekly word 

At work I am provided with a company car. With it I don’t have to worry about maintenance, insurance or tax. The only thing that is my concern is ensuring that there is diesel to drive it.

A couple of weeks ago I drove over a screw and punctured the back tire. I called up Driver Support and they told me to take the car to my local Kwik Fit garage for repair, which I did. When it came for payment, the mechanic said me I don’t have to pay anything as the car belongs to my company and they will cover it.

This story is very much similar to life. Everything we have on this earth, everything we have been given, everything we think we have earned, does not belong to us. It all belongs to God.

We are merely stewards.

How well do we really understand this concept?

Take tithing for example, we say, well 10% belongs to God 90% belongs to me. Wrong. 100% belongs to God, he is allowing us to keep 90%. Pretty generous if you ask me! It is through His graciousness that He allows us to have it all.

“The earth and everything on it belong to the LORD. The world and its people belong to him.” Psalm 24:1

Very often I forget this. I strive to get this or to get that or I worry about how something will be provided for when I shouldn’t really concern myself because everything belongs to Him and he will distribute to me what I need, at the right time.

“Look at the birds in the sky! They don't plant or harvest. They don't even store grain in barns. Yet your Father in heaven takes care of them. Aren't you worth more than birds?” Matthew 6:26

The world judges success based on your wealth and material possessions. But God does not…

“People judge others by what they look like, but I judge people by what is in their hearts." 1 Samuel 16:7

Therefore we should always take comfort in knowing that God will always provide. 

How often do we try to find security by how much money is in our bank account or joy when we buy that “must have” item? When you use physical or material items to meet the need of an emotional or spiritual need then that is when there is a problem. We should not define our worth by our possessions, because nothing we have belongs to us.

This wedding…God has and will continue to provide. If I tell you the ways He has opened doors and granted us favour you will be amazed. We thank God for his provision and continue to trust Him. We have to remind ourselves daily that it all belongs to Him.

So if everything belongs to Him what is our concern? Well the bible tells us to

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need”. Matthew 6:33

So let us concern ourselves with His business and He will take care of our business!

Further reading - Luke 18:18-29

Happy Thursday! Stay Blessed.

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Dealing with the extras

10 Things the people are saying

So RSVPs are still rolling in, despite the 4th June deadline. To be honest, with the delay in getting the invites out, the deadline was unofficially extended by a week or so.  However some people have contacted us to say they still haven't received their invites, which has been a little frustrating given that they were sent in the same batch with people who have received theirs and have sent in their RSVP. Royal Mail - Get it together!!!

We’ve also heard reports about certain people asking why they weren’t invited. You just can’t win. We would have liked to invited everyone, but it’s not possible practically or financially.

Reading Amy's post from yesterday, I totally feel her pain about uninvited guests and people who RSVP late. We have spent many hours deliberating back and forth, how we can tackle this problem in a professional and efficient way. I mean, come on… how can someone decide not to show up at the church, just so that they can get a good table at the reception! What is the day supposed to be about? My dad has already advised one his friends who said they were going to do that, that they will be disappointed as that is not how we will roll {well he didn’t use those words, but you catch my drift}.

Also how difficult is it to say that you are coming to an event? There are many channels available to do it, whether it be online, by post, telephone or text but still ten days out, some people haven’t said anything.

In addition, our guest list appears to be growing daily. My dad printed the invites so in effect, my parents have a never ending supply of them and every day I learn of new people who have been added to the guest list. Fortunately our caterer is not charging per head, but I still worry about the capacity in our venue, having enough food and gatecrashers. We know people will try it, so we have had to think like a ‘gatecrasher’ and prepare for every eventuality.

One of the things we have decided to do is to allocate seating. We plan to have our Ushers and Hostess, AND security checking people’s names off the list. It’s the only way to ensure some sort of order. Yes I know at this late stage that it will be a big task to undertake, but my Aunty and Uncle have agreed to assist with this and we feel it is absolutely necessary to ensure that the people who were invited and have respectfully given a response to say that they are coming, are guaranteed a seat and taken care of. Those not in that position will unfortunately have to wait to be seated. We want to ensure that our guests are given first priority, which is only fair I think!

Thoughts?

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Marriage Prep: Meet the In-Laws...

5 Things the people are saying
Happy Monday - Weekly post from Mrs O

When you see the term ‘In-laws’ – what do you do - laugh, smile, cry even!?!

The simple fact is that your in-laws are not going anywhere, so here are a few tips on how to have happy relationships with them:

1) His Mum is your Mum and His Dad is your Dad – instead of thinking of them as your ‘in-laws’, consider them as your ‘new-family’. I speak to my ‘new-mum’ (nearly) as much as my birth mum...we have a really good relationship and that’s because I consider myself to be the daughter she never had and behave accordingly. A high level of respect (and humour) have been key.

2) If they appear to like you, thank God for your blessings. Unfortunately not everyone gets along with their in-laws. If you do, you are very very fortunate!

3) Understand their values: Just as, in order to ‘get’ your beau you had to understand where (s)he was coming from…you also have to ‘get’ where your ‘new family’ is coming from. What is their viewpoint on religious, political and social issues? Knowing this will help you to understand why they say the things they say and it will help you respond positively. Note that responding positively is not the same as agreeing to everything they say!

4) Do not change for your ‘new family’! You are who you are - that's why you fell in love and are getting (or got) married. If they appear to have problems with who you are, then it’s most likely a communication problem. This often happens in cross-cultural situations. If there are some communication problems, or they appear not be happy with a major aspect of your personality (one that no-one has ever complained about before) – do nothing about it! I’m serious here. If everyone tells you talk too much, then you probably do – but otherwise, do nothing! You simply cannot put up a fa├žade forever, eventually, the real you will slip out! Equally, it’s difficult to oppose someone forever; if your beau is happy with you as you are, the 'new family' will (or should) eventually come around to the idea that you aren’t going anywhere and that what they see is what they get.

5) Accept that they’re different: By the same token, don’t expect your ‘new family’ to be the same as your ‘birth family’. Your Mum may have stayed home with you and your 10 siblings baking biscuits and watching daytime TV, but if his Mum didn’t, don’t expect her to be enthusiastic when you say you want to be a stay-at-home Mum, which may be translated as 'I want your son to work, whilst I relax now!' Accept your ‘new family’ as they are. They have been this way long before you came on the scene; it’s unreasonable and unrealistic to expect them to change now.

6) Get to know your ‘new family’ (without your partner); they will become your family too, it’s great to build solid relationships with them and to enjoy and feel comfortable in their company. My cousin-in-law, (who is actually more like a brother-in-law) is now one of my favourite people! We have the best phone conversations and can spend hours chatting – without Mr O. I’ve made a concerted effort to get-to-know all of my ‘new family’. Of course on occasions, this may be treated with suspicion and in many cases you won’t become best friends overnight, but it’s a great foundation.

7) Don’t tell them everything – they can and will choose the worst possible moment to air your laundry. With your beau – of course you have to share EVERYTHING – there can be NO secrets, but with his Mum --- well, she doesn’t need (or want) to know about what you got up to before you became the ‘good girl!’ that her dear son is now marrying! This applies to the men out there too!

8) United we stand: You and your beau must learn to create a united front, starting now if you haven’t already. You both need to put one another ahead of EVERYONE else, including your parents, sisters, friends and dare say it, children! That's where the 'forsaking all others' bit becomes real. Your husband/wife’s well-being MUST come first. If When your ‘new families’ start to present alternative ideas/lifestyles/life-plans for you both – it will be MUCH easier to politely decline their suggestions if you do it together than to battle against them alone.

9) Unsolicited advice – listen to it, smile and then decide for yourselves what you want to do – try to communicate this in a non-antagonistic and respectful manner. In most cases and for the sake of harmony, it simply isn’t worth arguing with your ‘new family’, they are not always as forgiving as your ‘birth family’. Choose your battles wisely! James 1:19 sums this up well: “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”.

10) Always make the extra effort with your ‘new family’. This doesn’t mean going all out to impress them - You don’t have to cook a 5 course meal with a homemade sorbet course BUT you must always
· be the ‘bigger man’ or ‘bigger woman’
· never make snide comments;
· always be the first to say sorry {I hope you would never need to!};
· be the first to offer acts of kindness;
· remember birthdays;
· keep their favourite drink in stock, for those impromptu visits!
· call every now and again just to say ‘hi’;
· Smile and show how happy you are through your words and actions to be part of the family!
How do you keep things sweet with your 'new family'?


World Cup Wedding

7 Things the people are saying

world cup logo

So the World Cup kicks off today. Go Super Eagles!

Women around the world will not see or hear from their men for one month! I for one know how much Mr E loves footie, so post wedding life will be interesting!

When the 26th June was chosen for our wedding, the World Cup was not one of the things we considered, but maybe it should have been.

Get this:

Nigeria is in Group B

England is in Group C

If Nigeria come second in their group, which is a possibility, they will playing a match at 3pm GMT that day.

If England come first in their group, which again is a big possibility, they will be playing a match at 7:30pm GMT that day.

How much influence it will have the day {at least for the men}, I don’t know, but I guess we’ll have to see how the games pan out.

Are you looking forward to the World Cup in your household?

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Finally! Our invitation suite!

16 Things the people are saying

So this post is long overdue but I have now finally gotten round to showing you our labour of love aka our invitations.

I did all the design using Photoshop with Mr E’s input, except for the Guest Information Sheet which my dad did. My dad then got everything printed.

The full suite includes the invitation card, RSVP postcard, guest information leaflet and monogrammed envelope.

Tip: Give yourself enough time to get everything designed, proofed and printed. I didn’t realise how long the design process was going to take {I am a bit of a perfectionist to the nth degree}. We had hoped to get them out 8 weeks before, but they ended up going out 4 weeks before. More time would have been perfect.

Feedback from our guests has been very positive and I’m so happy with how they have turned out.

Enjoy!

Full Suite

So I saw many envelope inspiration ideas and in the end decided to go for having our monogram printed on it, with the words “You have been invited”, so as soon as you get the envelope you know what it is.

Envelope

Once you open the envelope you are greeted to your ‘pack’. First up your invite…

Invite 1 

Invite 2

The verse below is Proverbs 30:18-19

There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.

Invite 3 

So after you have perused your invitation, it’s now time to make a decision as to whether you’re coming or not.

Enter our RSVP postcards…

RSVP card

My lovely girlfriend Janelle helped me make the back a postcard.

RSVP back

People were given the option of sending their RSVP online through our wedding website or via postcard. It’s so nice coming home to work, seeing the RSVP postcards that have been sent back, with all the lovely messages. They have been more popular than I thought!

Finally we {my dad} put together a Guest Information leaflet which has all the maps, directions and useful numbers etc. Anyone who still gets lost after all this information *shakes head in wonder…well I just don’t know!

Guest Info 1

Guest Info 2

Guest Info 3

So there you have it, our invitation suite…

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So you're after my man...

14 Things the people are saying
I came across a great post yesterday by NewLife, where she talks about the fact that there is this woman who is after her husband. It made me smile. Not in a sinister way but in a I sure can relate way.


She then went on to talk about how we should pray for our spouses daily, asking God to put a covering over them and protect them. Again I smiled, because I totally agree, although I don’t always do it and I should!

Nothing would give the devil more pleasure than to break up a marriage. Trust me!

This past weekend I was in London and Mr E and I had the privilege to receive marriage counselling/preparation from one of his Uncles who came in specially to the UK to see us. We have both been praying that God would bring us a discipler, someone who can guide us as we enter in marriage and he has definitely been an answer to prayer. We were so blessed.

We talked about everything from family, sex, finances, ministry, friendships. It was so refreshing to have an open and honest discussion as adults, be able to ask questions and nothing was off limits.

One of the things we discussed was how to handle friends of the opposite sex. Forget friends even, just generally people of the opposite sex. One of the worst things that can happen to your marriage is infidelity. Yes the bible calls us to forgive, but it is the biggest breach of trust.

Thinking about cheating we discussed the situations in which a man or a woman would cheat:

For a woman to cheat, the relationship must have been dead for a long time. A man has taken interest in her, complimenting her, listening to her eventually taking the place of her husband.

For a man to cheat, he has found himself in a situation. He is at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Something that started innocently was not nipped in the bud and it has been allowed to develop.

Do you agree?

So how do we protect our marriages {or relationships}, while still forming healthy relationships with the opposite sex? Here are some tips that we learnt.

01. Be clear from the outset. At work I have a photo of Mr E and me on my desk. It a nice photo of the two us together, smiling at the world. While some might feel this looks unprofessional, it serves as a constant reminder to other men, that this girl is not single.

Get a nice picture, preferably a picture with the two of you close together and place it on your desk for all to see. I have always have done. Any man who has any ideas will quickly know that you are taken, even if they are still foolish enough to disregard the fact that you are wearing an engagement ring or are even pregnant!…foolish, foolish boys!

02. Check their motives. Any member of the opposite sex that tries to get close to you, be your friend etc, a good way to test their motives is to constantly bring your spouse into the conversation, all the time. Somebody who genuinely wants to be your friend will not mind this. Someone who doesn't have pure motives on the other hand, will positively detest this. It will make them feel very uncomfortable.

Another thing is to always direct them to your spouse. Men - You get asked to do something, meet for a coffee etc, mention that you would like to bring your wife along. Women – a guy at the office is talking to you a bit to much, keep dropping in the name of your other half. If you’re sent an email, when you reply ‘CC’ in your spouse as well. It’s not always practical but you get the message. They will too!

What this does again, is reinforce the fact you are in a relationship and that it is number one. Any woman or man who is not happy with this, or has an issue with getting to know your significant other, I would seriously question their motives.

03. Keep your friends close. Equally be weary of any person who is overly trying to get close to your other half e.g. a women totally befriending your wife or a man your husband. It could just be their way of trying to lure you into a false sense of security in order to still get close to you.

04. Listen to your woman. Men – if your wife is not comfortable with a particular female, listen to her! Women’s intuition is never wrong and woman often see things in other women, that men do not. After all, what is more important. What you’re wife thinks and feels or a relationship with another woman?

05. Me like. You Like. Ladies – find out what your husband likes. How does he like you to do your hair, what does he like you to wear, what does he like to eat? Ask him and do it. It’s not about changing who you are, it is about recognising that as a wife, it's our responsibility to please our husbands. One sure fire way to protect your marriage is to ensure that he is satisfied at home, this will go a long way.

Likewise, men – find out from your lady what she likes from you too. How does she likes you to look, smell, dress so that she too will find you and only you attractive and be satisfied.

06. Being Open. Friends of the opposite sex are not a bad thing by all means, but they should become ‘our’ friends and any relationship which you feel poses a threat or you don’t feel comfortable talking to your other half about, should make you question the ‘pureness’ of that relationship.

If something happens with a member of the opposite, tell your spouse. I’m not even talking about full on affair. It’s the little things. For example if a guy tries to talk to me in a way that I’m not comfortable with, I will always let Mr E know. Likewise if a girl calls him and she is starting to cross the boundaries, he will let me know. Together we can pray about about it and deal with it. Communicate!

It is when nothing is said that things start to escalate, then you have to start recounting what happened and when, tracing back to the beginning and that can often cause more pain. It is so much easier to kill it before it grows.

Marriage changes friendships but what you will realise is that genuine people will always know the boundaries and respect them.

As NewLife said, we need to keep praying. Praying daily for protection and covering over our relationships {me included}. Pray that the heavenly Father will sabotage all plans and intentions that are not for good and help our relationships to strengthen and grow.

Any other tips for protecting your relationship?

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Marriage Prep School is now in session: 3Ps

3 Things the people are saying

Happy Monday – Weekly post from Mrs O

I know plenty of people who are ‘getting married’ and who have become so absorbed with ‘wedding-prep’, they’ve pushed ‘marriage-prep’ to one side.  Marriage is an institution that holds societies together and has done since time began, it’s a commitment with one person and forever – it’s a very big deal. So, whilst it’s great to prepare for the wedding {and let’s face it, you’d be mad not to!}, the marriage must take priority.

We planned our wedding over 18 months or so, and in honesty, it was only when we reached the half way point that we really thought about our impending marriage. We reached a major stumbling block in our lives, there was a LOT going on and it forced us to reassess – re-evaluate and really think about what being married would actually BE like.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’d love to share some insights into relationships and marriage – from how to know when you’ve met Mr Right, to how to deal with your in-laws and of course, the big taboo subject – sex and your relationship. Some of my insights are from my personal perspective and others have been shared with me by my network of friends and family – who are in a variety of circumstances – single, cohabiting, married, divorced, widowed etc.

……………………………………

On our wedding day, my Mum, who was married for just short of 25 years, but is now unfortunately a widow {RIP Daddy}, shared a few private words with us whilst offering us a traditional peace drink.

melvina789

She said plan, pray and play together – that is all you need to do’. It was quite funny because we expected a really long and utterly-profound monologue, but that was all she had to say. She has since of course offered much unsolicited {but still appreciated} advice, but ‘plan, pray and play’ is the one that has stuck with us the most!

For those who are getting married really soon, here are a few tips on preparing for marriage – based around this PPP concept:

Pray together

couple praying

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This is not limited to meal times or necessarily first thing in the morning, but find a time that suits your lifestyle to sit down and pray together; it’s a great habit to get into. Our daughter spontaneously burst into a prayer the other day – it was beautiful and reassured us that God clearly has a key role in our day-to-day lives – even if sometime we don’t make it to church on Sundays!

Pray not just to give thanks for your relationship, but to give thanks for all those around you who’ve had a positive influence on you and your relationship.

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Pray together that your family will accept one another and for God’s mercy on those who are having a negative influence on your relationships, for those who continually strive to upset your harmonious balance – pray for them.

Pray together that you will both be fulfilled in your work, pray that you will make more time for one another, pray that you will show interest in and nourish one another’s interests.

Basically, pray for every single area of your relationship and your individual lives.

It can be a bit overwhelming to pray about everything at once, so perhaps try focusing on one issue – the issue that you’ve been carrying around all day, the one that you are most concerned with at that time.

Sometimes when we do this, we end up praying for AGES and it opens the door for communication on hard to discuss issues e.g. ‘your Dad is driving me crazy!’ – I mean who wants to hear that!

Plan together

Share a five year plan; are you on the same wavelength? Do you want the same things? Do you want them at the same time? I am sure that you had this talk in advance of the proposal, BUT it doesn’t hurt to have it again… which order would you like to do things in – house, then babies, then career or another order. There is no ‘correct’ order; however, whatever works for you both is the right order. 

Again, pray on this, ask for God’s guidance – is this what you’re supposed to be aiming for? Who do you need in your life to realise your dreams. Talk to Jesus, he always listens!

Play together

When all the cake has been eaten, you no longer fit into your dress, and the novelty of being a newlywed has gone; when you’re back to work and haven’t properly seen your now-husband in days (even though you live in the same house) - remember to have fun! You’re still you – no need to become a desperate housewife – or househusband!

couple playing

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On a practical level, why not consider a series of mini-moons instead of a big honeymoon.  We did this, partly for financial and work/study reasons, but mostly because we wanted to have things to look forward to after the big day. So far, we have been snowed in at The Bell in Hampton Poyle and more recently have mini-mooned in Paris! We hope to do a few more mini-moons and we’re enjoying researching the next hotspot and generally having fun in between.

So there you have it, the 3Ps.

How are you preparing for your marriage?

Mrs O

melvina467You can see what else Mrs O has to say over at her blog Planning, Praying and Playing, where she documents her mission to plan, pray and play her way through life. With a fine balance of humour, pretty and 'real-talk', she tells us what it's really like to be a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a 'tryna-b-Christian' and newest of all, a *wife*.

Milestones

9 Things the people are saying

Today is a milestone for us.

The last time we got here {i.e. three weeks before the wedding}, we were making the difficult decision to postpone it.

What ensued was a weekend of long discussions, calls and emails. Generally feeling crappy.

Fast forward…

God’s timing is perfect. God knows what he is doing. God always finishes what he starts.

Gotta keep praying through. I will not stress. It is in his hands.

Phil 4:6-7 is my verse, my declaration:

Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.

Thank you Lord that you have a plan for my life and it is perfect in every way.

Happy Friday!

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Showers and Coolers

9 Things the people are saying

You know when you start a week off with the best intentions, but then everything goes to pot? That was me last week. I had all these posts planned about our invites, Bridal Shower et al but my week got away from me and other things seemed more relevant to blog about. But hey, we’re here now!

So onto my bridal shower.

Two words. Fun and Relevant. Fun because it was great to see all my old church friends again and catch up and relevant because I took away lots of useful stuff. It was also the hottest day of the year, yet and I think I almost melted due to the heat!

Main things I took away…

There are three words needed in every relationship: “Please”, “Thank you” and “I’m sorry’. They go a long way in appreciating and honouring one another.

Have a heart of hospitability and don’t be afraid of welcoming people into your home {especially at short notice}, this is the Nigerian way.

Have a clean home at all times, at least a home which if someone showed up at short notice, you wouldn’t be embarrassed about or have to run around cleaning.

Be a woman of prayer

There is nothing wrong in dropping hints, men are not mind readers

Know what is expected of you culturally and adhere to it when you’re with your in-laws {this was useful for me, I got the Igbo lowdown}

Build a good relationship with your mother in law

I also got some lovely gifts but my favourite one was a cooler. I’ve always been in awe of the Aunties who can make the gorgeous jollof rice which they bring to functions in their coolers. I’m now been officially part of the ‘women who cook at church’ club – cooler in tow!

This weekend I found out that I have another shower in about ten days time, hosted by the women of OFNC so I’m looking forward to that!

Here’s a pic from the day.

Bridal Shower

My momma, me and Pastor’s wife.

25 days to go…

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